![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
glowingfishA lot going on, so this might seem pretty random:
You probably know this old sitcom plot/trope, even if you can't think of a specific example:
Elementary school kid is in a play or has a ballet or piano recital or some other young person activity. Workaholic father (and yes, usually the male parent) promises to come, but suddenly something comes up with work so kid is crushed, looking out at the audience and searching for an absent parent.
Did this ever really happen? Was this something kids actually worried about or would have been harmful?
For context, I was born in 1979, and I might have been one of the last cohorts of free-range children. I wasn't part of any organized activities, and I didn't have any lessons, as a child. We played in the woods or dug holes or played indoors with action figures. Also, my parents divorced when I was 5. So my prime elementary school years, 6-8, were spent happily inventing and playing in my own world, sometimes by myself, sometimes with neighborhood kids. As much as there were big events at school, I would have seen them as a chore or a bother.
I guess the reason that this is important is that as a child, I formed my sense of self around my imagination, and around spontaneous games. But I guess for some children, that was formed around a more formal social world, and having parental/social confirmation was important?
Obviously, of course, this is a plot point, but is it/was it close to reality for some children?
You probably know this old sitcom plot/trope, even if you can't think of a specific example:
Elementary school kid is in a play or has a ballet or piano recital or some other young person activity. Workaholic father (and yes, usually the male parent) promises to come, but suddenly something comes up with work so kid is crushed, looking out at the audience and searching for an absent parent.
Did this ever really happen? Was this something kids actually worried about or would have been harmful?
For context, I was born in 1979, and I might have been one of the last cohorts of free-range children. I wasn't part of any organized activities, and I didn't have any lessons, as a child. We played in the woods or dug holes or played indoors with action figures. Also, my parents divorced when I was 5. So my prime elementary school years, 6-8, were spent happily inventing and playing in my own world, sometimes by myself, sometimes with neighborhood kids. As much as there were big events at school, I would have seen them as a chore or a bother.
I guess the reason that this is important is that as a child, I formed my sense of self around my imagination, and around spontaneous games. But I guess for some children, that was formed around a more formal social world, and having parental/social confirmation was important?
Obviously, of course, this is a plot point, but is it/was it close to reality for some children?
Thoughts
Date: 2026-03-19 09:14 pm (UTC)It depends on the kid. I knew some who were always wanting their parents' attention and approval, who would indeed have been distraught if a parent missed an event. They were mostly the same kids who cried if they didn't get invited to a party.
Me? The only reason I went to piano recital was because my parents dragged me. It was miserable listening to a bunch of strangers mangle music (not that I was any better).
>>For context, I was born in 1979, and I might have been one of the last cohorts of free-range children. I wasn't part of any organized activities, and I didn't have any lessons, as a child. We played in the woods or dug holes or played indoors with action figures. <<
I'm a little older, but yeah, most of my activity was free-range. I did have lessons for a few things.
>>I guess the reason that this is important is that as a child, I formed my sense of self around my imagination, and around spontaneous games.<<
Yeah, me too. My identity comes from inside, not a reflection from other people. But I know other folks who do base their identity on others.
>> But I guess for some children, that was formed around a more formal social world, and having parental/social confirmation was important?<<
Yep. Weird to me, but pretty common.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2026-03-20 12:21 am (UTC)Also, part of this was that I transferred schools to the other elementary school in our town, that was slightly more affluent, and so the kids there were doing more things like that. At my end of town, we were still digging holes in the dirt for fun, so we got into this separation between my school life and my home life.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2026-03-20 01:29 am (UTC)My sympathies. I was never into sports.
>> Also, part of this was that I transferred schools to the other elementary school in our town, that was slightly more affluent, and so the kids there were doing more things like that.<<
That sounds frustrating.
>> At my end of town, we were still digging holes in the dirt for fun, so we got into this separation between my school life and my home life.<<
I did a lot of backyard archaeology. My parents were public school teachers, so we didn't have a lot of money. They did scrape together enough for some lessons. But a lot of it was simply that back then, more people were middle class and not living hand to mouth. Even some of the trailer park kids were in band at school. Another thing is that in a college town, lessons are often cheaper because there are more grad students or professors looking to pick up extra cash.
I think kids learn things from messing around outdoors and making their own toys or games than they do from playing with commercial toys designed to do a specific thing.