glowingfish

>>Did this ever really happen? Was this something kids actually worried about or would have been harmful? <<

It depends on the kid. I knew some who were always wanting their parents' attention and approval, who would indeed have been distraught if a parent missed an event. They were mostly the same kids who cried if they didn't get invited to a party.

Me? The only reason I went to piano recital was because my parents dragged me. It was miserable listening to a bunch of strangers mangle music (not that I was any better).

>>For context, I was born in 1979, and I might have been one of the last cohorts of free-range children. I wasn't part of any organized activities, and I didn't have any lessons, as a child. We played in the woods or dug holes or played indoors with action figures. <<

I'm a little older, but yeah, most of my activity was free-range. I did have lessons for a few things.

>>I guess the reason that this is important is that as a child, I formed my sense of self around my imagination, and around spontaneous games.<<

Yeah, me too. My identity comes from inside, not a reflection from other people. But I know other folks who do base their identity on others.

>> But I guess for some children, that was formed around a more formal social world, and having parental/social confirmation was important?<<

Yep. Weird to me, but pretty common.